I CAN. WILL I?

                   So you know those times when there are too many things you want to do? Too many plans that you want to put into action , but have no clue how to go about them, and there is this terribly strong-evil voice in your head which says that you won't be able to handle? Its like you are in a candy shop, surrounded by those beautiful, colourful, delicious, well carved sweeties, all of which you want and desire but you have only a ten rupee note in your pocket.
                    You are confused as to what to let go and what to hold on to. Everything at that point seems important. Essential, like a gasp of fresh air when one non-smoker is stuck with ten smoking goons in the tiniest cubicle ever. You want to make this life of yours make sense. You want to do so much but something seems to stop you. Something. But you cannot for the world understand what it is.
                    Definitely seems like the devil himself. Pulling you down into the rut of nothing-ness when all you want is to rise up. Do everything that you have ever thought of. Shine. Find yourself amidst the dark and confounding crowds of life.
                      But if that is what you want then how can anything stop you? Why should anything? Someone once said that the busiest and most successful man is one who has time for everything. Can't you be that man? Can't I?
                       Can there come a point where we can just press the mute button on those evil voices and say that I am going to make it happen?
                        There is only one answer (at least for those determined enough), YES. Life is not about giving  up because people who don't know you like yourself or some stupid voice in your head said that you can't. Its about standing up and saying I WILL because I CAN.


P.S. Its amazing how writing can help you sort things out for yourself. Try. Because in Step Up language, its not about what you got. Its about what you make of what you got.

Life Inside

I let my hand slip over my bare stomach,
Over the life that lay inside.
Over the joys of being a mother,
When, I opened my eyes.


Flashes of mom, dad and family came,
Of the horrors that i was about to provide.
The social disgrace that this might bring,
The dismay of being sixteen and having a child.


Thud! I felt my hand go,
Thud! Again on my seemingly little stomach.
How could you have let this happen?
Now you have to let it go, I heard.


To the reality as I opened my eyes,
To the harsh truth of what, why and when,
I saw a beam of sun rays creep in,
And fall silently on the life inside.


Everything felt soft and untouched then,
Pure as divinity it seemed.
Something then called out to me,
Perhaps the nature itself.


I let my hand slip over my stomach,
Over the life that lay inside.
Over the joys of being a mother,
When, I once again, closed my eyes.


Flashes of a little baby came,
-beneath the light blue sky.
Of a toddler holding my finger,
Of the little life inside.


Then to the series of joys I opened my eyes,
To the hopes, happiness and high tides.
To the beauty that god had bestowed on me,
To the deed i'd breathe to life.

CON-'FUSION'

            Then there are times when you cannot think straight about some issue. You are completely bogged down by the entire situation and you try with all your might to come out of it, when you are hit by a gazillion  multi-faceted thoughts about everything that could possibly be thought of in relation to that issue. Thoughts that all blend together. The 'fusion' of 'confusion'. You want to get out of the rut of mundane thoughts that cloud your existence, but all seems like an impasse. You seem to have reached a dead end.
             It is here that you must realize that no matter what, you are always in control. Its like a cycle with four wheels. Even if you have no balance and skills what so ever, you can ride and reach some place as long as you take the decision to. The only thing that is required is for you to take the decision to ride, in this case to get an answer for the confusion.
             Every situation brings with it two choices. the easy one and the right. The right is always going to be easy in the long, pragmatic sense, and your heart will always know it, even though the others might seem like a sumptuous blueberry cheese cake(remember those are always drugged). No matter how big the number of thoughts and critical evaluations may be. No matter how appealing the rest may seem. There is always that one thing that nags you. That, my dear friend, is the right. The right one.
             By the end, its always, only your choice.
                   

I carry your heart with me, I carry it in my heart

 And she caught a twinkle in the corner of his eye. A smile playing lightly on his lips. As they talked, while they walked, in the wind of the winter cold. Its been quite some time since they've known one another, quite a while since she thinks this might be it, but its never felt this right before. Never this exhilarating to her soul.
     She talks like she never has. For she knows he understands that which she is trying to articulate and comprehends that which goes unspoken and needn't be told. Their laughter seems to ring together. Their shadows falling down to become one whole. Their eyes meet intermittently, while their hearts follow a path of their own.
     He is like the warm morning sunshine on the dew covered grass to her, the first wave of the ocean on the desiccated rocks. 
    She knows not what turn this wishfully mesmerizing tale is going to take, whether a Disney scene or into a closed end . But she knows this is the only way to go for her. For it is only here that her adrenaline rushes the way she likes it. Its only here that she is herself and not a metaphor.